Who the Fook

Hello. My name is Dr Fook. My friends call me Fook. You may call me Dr Fook.

I am a pathologist, like they have on the television series CSI. I have seen it. Them. There are a few of them. It is (they are) codswallop. They deal with only one body at a time. They do not know the meaning of the word "catastrophe". I know what it means. It is a very important word. It is Greek. It rhymes with apostrophe, which is similar; only, it is a bit different.

My friend is Dr Frankenstein. He is a Jewish person. He went to Auschwitz during the War. Auschwitz is in Poland. The War was a very long time ago. Dr Frankenstein must be very old, if he went to Auschwitz during the War. He does not seem so old to me. Maybe he knows a thing or two, this Dr Frankenstein. I do not know for certain. I am just a pathologist.

My other friend is Bozuffi. He is a tailor. I think he is Italian. I am not sure. He is very g... I mean, happy. Hahahahaha. That is an old joke I heard from the President. Señor Garcia. Many years ago. In London. He wasn't called Garcia then; he was called Sam, and he was a chauffeur. One day, he had a heart attack in the living room. Every one thought he died, but he did not. Anyway, it was a long time ago.

People say I do not like happy people. This is not true. Some of my friends are happy.

There is this nurse in the morgue. Her name is Maria. Why they have nurses in morgues, I do not know. What do they do? Nurse corpses back to health? Maria screams a lot and likes to crawl into her shell. Maria the Shell. Shelly Maria. Maria Shelly. Hahahahaha. I am quite clever. She is not my friend. She is my employee.

I do not have any other friends.