Remains of the day

Post-mortem time. I am the pathologist. So there.

Time of death was around 2300hrs last Friday. I can't tell you what the cause was. It certainly didn't make hordes of beautiful women embrace me and say how very much they were impressed; although it did one, and to her I am very much indebted. Unfortunately I can't go any farther than being indebted. This is a sad, sad world. For me, anyway.

So much for the post mortem. That is the director's business anyway. What I can tell you has to do with some very special people. Without them there would have been no show, good or bad:

You. The Audience. Frankenstein is not a conventional, "safe", play. Thank you.

Lawrence Selvaraj. SM. He gives as good as he gets, sometimes. One cannot blame him; he is underprivileged. Lawrence has saved my pitiful arse in the past. He continues to do so today.

Michael Chen and Melissa Maureen. I know few people as hard-working and as professional as these two. Note "people", not "actors". I don't know many actors. I know plenty of people, unfortunately. I think most people are idiots. Not these two. I know this because I loiter around them in the backstage corridor because of SHAME. It is partly true. I also loiter because I am usually still sleepy around sundown and can't move any faster. But SHAME is the main thing.

Paul Hasham and Tora. Builders. These fellows should set up their own construction firm. Mat Salleh and Bumi. Sure make money one. I am a chinaman. I know about these things.

Lim Ang Swee. Lights. Even in the rare event when this grinning bugger fucks up, he fucks up spectacularly. Like the charge of the Light Brigade. Haha. Or Tchaikovsky's 1812 performed by rabid armpit-scratching monkeys in a room full of Catholic schoolgirls. You know it will obliterate you, but still you want to be there.

Maria Pilar Juste Ballesteros. ASM. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... Sadly, I did not get to impress her with my atrocious knowledge of mediaeval Catalan love songs. (Ojos claros y serenos, ya que ansí me miráis, miradme al menos, &c.) I regret this. It might have given us something else to bet on.

Zona Also known as Midnite Lily. Thanks. Again.

Wah Keng Hyen. This soundboard man came up with not one, but two of the most creative excuses for snafus I heard during the production. 1. "It's a 6.3 versus 4.8 problem", (numbers to that effect) and 2. "It's a phantom clip." My thanks for Within Temptation.

Loo Jia-Wei has designed all three sets I have been involved in. While I have many regrets about my own judgement, I have not had even momentary reservations about her work. I played a small role in Frankenstein; but I walked around on the stage every night before we opened, as I have done with all your sets. Thank you.

Approaching the End.

Tonight's the last show. Geez. I'm already missing it.

Cockatoo is a real gem of a role and I'll always remember having been given the opportunity to play him - even if I wasn't first choice *grin*.

Playing along side the likes of the cast of this play and having so much to do has been very nerve wrecking. One the one hand, I feel like I'm in good hands because it is so easy to act with such an experienced cast. During some rehearsals, it feels like they are carrying me and I'm just riding the wave.

On the other hand, the pressure of wondering whether I'll fade away into the background when I act along side them also preys on my mind at times.

But all that being said, I've learnt so much in such a short period, I hope it all stays with me. Thank you's are due to Gavin for spending extra time with me to help me develop and do justice to Cockatoo. Rashid and Douglas are constantly offering me much appreciated and extremely useful tips that have been put to good use (I hope). Patrick has also given me a lot to think about with the 'little things', things I think I would probably have missed about Cockatoo. Mary, for not treating me like her student *lol* (in case some of you missed it - she was my lecturer in college). Kennie for giving me a lot tips too - especially when it came down to looking more like a soldier handling guns and even lacing up army boots. U-en for always referring to me as an *actor* making me feel less awkward and more at home. Melissa and Ari for just being so cool with me. And of course Rauf, Bharani and Reuben: the other new fellas with me sharing the *heat* after some bad rehearsals!!

I was also Jia Wei's Production Assistant on this play and I did quite a bit of running around - sorting out costumes and props and such. It was a lot more of a challenge than I think I was prepared for. I hope I was more of help to her rather than a nuisance. *Grin*. So, Jia Wei, thanks for being patient with me.

Actually, that should go to everyone, thanks for being patient with me. :)

After tonight, I'll have to say a little farewell to the man that is Cockatoo. He's a really good guy if you give him a chance. He does not desire to be liked. He does not yearn for any sort of attention. He does not want to be a hero. He just does whatever he thinks he should be doing and makes no apologies for anything. He's a guy who's been dealt a lousy hand and wants desperately to make the best out of it even if the best is out of his grasp.

Is he really any different from the rest of us?

I hope I did him justice.

I'm out.